MEASURING A SOFT BODY
Precisely, how does one do this? Because at my own waist -- if exactly where to measure one's waist could be defined (@ the belly button? above the belly button?) -- I can pull the tape measure pretty darn far into the loose adipose tissue or, in plainer language, into the marshmallow. Just how far in am I supposed to go? Just how much sucking in am I allowed to do? This morning, measured at the belly button with no pulling in or sucking in, I may have lost 2 inches since Mom's birthday a month ago. (Is that even possible?) Sucking in gently, I may have lost 3. Pulling in vigorously, 5-1/2! Rest assured, I do recognize that pulling in the tape measure as far as it can go is utterly lame. As Mom said when we were discussing Spanx, "It -- the adipose stuff -- has to go somewhere." As to the middle ground, sucking in one's waist, I'm not so sure. Dr. Oz, if I remember correctly, seems to favor this approach. What's a grrrlwoman to do?

So welcome to the spinning wheels of my squirrel brain this Monday morning. The important thing is: I did the deed -- picked up my new green measuring tape and used it. No doubt, my noting the top waist size on J Crew's toothpick jeans this past weekend -- size 32 -- played a part in this.